Don't step on my Bluetspur Shoes
Session 29 - Ethan's haircut
Unlocked room mystery
We begin our story in that room, currently with two unlocked doors, one uncovered floor pit, and one locked door. Well, we’re not leaving until we figure this thing out!
The last door has 3 glowing glyphs on it, in a horizontal line. From left to right, they are a crimson brain, an sapphire hand, and an emerald eye. Rusty touches the brain, and gets a mental glimpse of a thought. No specific thought, just a thought. A second touch shows that the thought is not consistent. Rusty touches the hand, and gets the feel of being light, or floating. Rusty touches the eye, and sees a glimpse of the party, walking through this door.
By thinking really hard at the brain while touching it, Rusty causes it to go dark.
Horus casts Feather Fall on the hand, which causes it to flicker, but not go out. Rusty tries with Levitate, but gets the same result. The Captain pokes it with Mage Hand, and it goes dark.
We cast about for eye related spells for the eye glyph, but nobody can cast Arcane Eye, and Horus’ only eye related spell is Eyebite, and he’s not willing to throw away a sixth level spell slot. Rusty picks up Louie by the handle, and tries pressing an eye from his Robe of Eyes against the eye glyph, but it doesn’t work. Louie’s magic 8-ball drops out of his pocket, though, so Louie asks it how to open the door. It says “Telepathy, Telekinesis, Clairvoyance”, and the eye glyph goes dark. The door opens.
What’s behind door number 1?
We go through the left most door, that was guarded by the crystal columns connected by beams of light. Beyond, we find a creepy room filled with cloning canisters filled with glowing, greenish liquid and clones of the party members in varying states of maturity. The only party member not represented is Horace. On the left side of the room is a large Qualith mural. In the center of the room is a smooth, square, obsidian control panel with three glowing runes, and a helmet. The Captain touches the first rune and receives the concept of “Acceleration”. Rusty touches the next rune and discerns that it can be used to control a Species Template Library. Horus works out that the helmet is used for memory implantation, and when he touches the final rune he can tell it is for trait modification.
Dennis touches the mural on the wall. It is titles “The Forbidden Word”. It tells the story of Tenebris and how he unearthed a new type of weapon. Not a spell, but an echo of creation. Using this power, Tenebris went to war against Riktus. The mural shows Tenebris at the centre of the universe, while the universe and Tenebris crack and fracture from the power of the word.
There is another door in this room, hidden between 2 clone vats. It opens onto a long corridor. Just inside the door, there is another door on the left. This door is made from fused bone, with brain matter filling the gaps, and tentacles reaching out. As The Captain approaches, the tentacle reaches out and words echo: “Prostrate your mind, surrender your pain.” The Captain is disinclined to acquiesce to its request.
What’s behind door number 2?
The party returns to the first room, and this time exits through the second, or middle door. A eerie blue glow fills the room, emanating from a large pool in the centre of the space. The room is 40 feet across, with a domed ceiling. The pool is filled with a viscous, luminescent liquid. There are five statues around the pool, showing Mind Flayers in varying stages of development. A memory crystal floats around the room - Dennis and Rusty start chasing it down. The Captain and Louie approach the pool - Wisdom saves all round! They attempt to resist the siren lure of illithid tadpoles that infest the pool. The Captain and Louie both make their saves, but Raymond fails dismally and jumps straight toward the pool.
Simultaneously, at the other end of the room, Horus is hit by a drop of drool, and also has to save vs poison (he succeeds). Horus looks up and sees an abomination above him. Seriously, it’s name is literally “abomination number 3”. Initiative!
The Captain storms into first place with 33. Raymond is second on 29, Louie is third with 25. Fourth place goes to Dennis with 19, the Abomination is fifth with 17, then Horus on 16, Rusty on 14, then Gary and lastly Vilgax on 1.
Round 1
The Captain shoots the Abomination for his usual impressive damage.
On Raymond’s turn, just before he falls into the pool, Rusty uses his reaction to cast Feather Fall, and Raymond is able to use his tongue and the statues around the pool to swing himself over to one side. He then uses his remaining movement to run over to Louie.
Louie climbs onto Raymond’s back, then uses ranged attacks on the Abomination, hitting it twice.
Dennis flies in and stabs the Abomination with his first hit, finding that it is immune to his poison, and also able to resist his stunning. He then moves 5’ back and completely forgets that he took the Mobile feat last level, so doesn’t provoke opportunity attacks, and takes a metric shitload of damage from the Abominations opportunity attacks, as well as two separate doses of poison. Ethan is thrilled when Dennis fails his saves, but less thrilled when we recall that Dennis is immune to poison. Dennis then lets fly with his Astral Cord whip. His first swing misses, but his second swing is a critical hit. With an Astral Cord whip. Against an abomination. Insta-kill! Woo-hoo! That’s the first time that has ever worked!
Horus was looking away when that happened and was very confused that he didn’t get a turn.
The clean up
Rusty grabs the memory crystal and absorbs a huge lore dump of ceremorphosis lore:
Xal’ithar’s Simple 5 Stages to Ceremorphosis
Ceremorphosis, the sacred and intricate rite by which our kind perpetuates itself, is a process of profound beauty and complexity. Allow me, Xal’ithar, scholar of the Synapse Library beneath Mount Makab, to elucidate this transformative procedure in precise detail.
Stage One: Selection of the Host
The first and most crucial step is selecting a suitable host. Humanoids—particularly humans, elves, dwarves, and gith—are favored due to their cerebral structure and psychic receptivity. The ideal candidate must be physically robust yet mentally pliable. Once chosen, the host is subdued and restrained within a specialized incubation chamber.
Stage Two: Implantation of the Tadpole
Next comes implantation. A mature illithid tadpole—carefully nurtured within our incubation domes—is selected for its vigor and psychic potential. The tadpole is gently introduced into the host through a facial orifice, typically the nasal cavity or ocular socket. This insertion must be swift yet delicate to avoid premature damage to the host’s brain tissue.
Stage Three: Neurological Integration
Upon entry, the tadpole instinctively burrows inward, propelled by innate biological imperative toward the host’s cranial cavity. Within minutes, it reaches the brainstem and begins integration. The tadpole secretes potent enzymes that dissolve neural tissue selectively, carving pathways for itself while preserving essential cognitive structures necessary for future psionic capabilities.
During this phase—lasting approximately 24 hours—the host remains alive but unconscious, suspended in nutrient-rich fluids within incubation pods to ensure optimal conditions for metamorphosis.
Stage Four: Metamorphic Transformation
Over the subsequent days (typically five to seven), profound physiological changes occur:
- The tadpole rapidly expands, merging fully with the host’s brain matter.
- Host tissues undergo accelerated mutation: cranial bones soften and reshape; facial features dissolve as tentacles emerge from newly formed muscular structures around the oral cavity.
- Internal organs adapt dramatically to support heightened metabolic demands of psionic activity.
- Psychic resonance develops between emerging mind flayer consciousness and our collective Elder Brain network.
Throughout this period, constant psychic monitoring ensures proper development. Failed transformations—those showing signs of aberrant mutation or insufficient psychic integration—are swiftly terminated to preserve genetic purity.
Stage Five: Emergence
Finally arrives emergence—the culmination of ceremorphosis. The incubation pod opens ceremonially, releasing nutrient fluid as the transformed being rises fully conscious for the first time. This new illithid emerges physically mature yet mentally nascent, immediately receptive to psychic communion with our Elder Brain.
From this moment forward, their mind joins our collective consciousness; individuality persists only insofar as it serves communal purpose. They are guided through initial psychic education by elder illithids like myself until they achieve full mastery over their newfound faculties.
Thus concludes ceremorphosis—a sacred rite ensuring our eternal dominion beneath Mount Makab endures unbroken through countless generations.
Addendum: On the Possibility of Reversing Ceremorphosis
It has come to my attention that certain unenlightened minds have posed inquiries regarding the reversal or “cure” of ceremorphosis. While such questions betray a fundamental misunderstanding of our sacred process, intellectual rigor compels me to address them.
Nature of Ceremorphosis:
Ceremorphosis is not merely a transformation—it is a complete rebirth. The tadpole merges irrevocably with the host’s brain tissue, dissolving and replacing it entirely with illithid matter. The host’s original consciousness and soul depart at this stage, leaving behind only echoes of memory and personality fragments absorbed by the emerging illithid.
On Reversal or Restoration:
Once ceremorphosis reaches completion, no mundane or conventional magical remedy can reverse it. Lesser spells such as Remove Curse, Cure Disease, Restoration, and even powerful resurrection spells (Raise Dead, Resurrection) are utterly ineffective, as the original body no longer exists to be restored.
Theoretical Exceptions:
Despite this absolute nature, certain extraordinary methods exist in theory—though none have been reliably documented within our archives:
- Wish Magic: A powerful enough practitioner utilizing a Wish spell might theoretically reconstruct the original host’s body and soul from nothingness. Such magic is exceedingly rare and dangerous, often resulting in unpredictable side effects.
- Divine Intervention: Direct intervention by a deity could potentially restore an individual’s original form and soul. Such occurrences would be exceedingly rare and dependent upon divine favor.
- Temporal Manipulation: Altering temporal events to prevent ceremorphosis before its completion could circumvent the issue entirely. However, this method involves profound risks to causality itself.
- Psychic Dominance Reversal (Hypothetical): In extremely rare cases—such as certain gnome hosts or unique psychic anomalies—the host’s psyche has been known to overpower the tadpole during ceremorphosis, resulting in a reversal or hybrid state These anomalies are exceedingly uncommon and poorly understood.
In conclusion, while theoretical avenues exist for reversing ceremorphosis, they remain highly speculative, dangerous, and unreliable. For practical purposes, ceremorphosis should be regarded as an irreversible transformation—a sacred rebirth into our superior form.
The party was inspired to learn all that. Literally - everyone got inspiration for sitting through it all.
Rusty then freezes the entire tadpole pool in an attempt to kill the tadpoles, but it turns out they are able to recover from freezing. Given how large they are, this implies a very different cellular structure for illithid tadpoles - it is entirely possible that their protoplasm is either not water-based, or contains high levels of other chemicals that would act as a form of organic anti-freeze. Rusty is fascinated. Louie, on the other hand, casts Moonbeam and walks it around the pond slowly, finishing the job of killing all the little buggers.
There is another door at the far end of the room, made of flesh, which whispers “Doctor?” to anyone that approaches, but refuses to open. Rusty attempts to convince it that he is its Step-Doctor, but the door is too stupid to be convinced. The Captain decides that hitting the door is the answer, and watches it regenerate the damage astonishingly quickly. He then really thrashes into it and cuts a bit free. The door regenerates, and the separated bit grows legs and runs off, with The Captain in hot pursuit. It runs back to the first room, and jumps down the pit.
Rusty has one last go at opening the door by sexually assaulting it with body parts cut off Abomination number 3, but it doesn’t work. Apparently it seemed sensible at the time?
The party returns to the room where the Captain is staring morosely down the pit, and coming to the conclusion that his 200’ of rope is not enough to reach the bottom.
Into the Pit of Despair
The Captain then figures out that he can create a rope ladder using the force construct ability from Bigby’s Beneficent Bracelet. After a fair bit of calculation, we figure that with the 5 foot cube that it creates, he should be able to make about 30,000 feet of rope ladder crafted from 1/2” diameter rope. Ethan is unconvinced, initially, until we pull up a coil of 6mm rope from Bunnings that looks like it’s about a cubic foot, and is 100 metres (or 330 feet) long. Given that you could fit 125 of those into a 5’ cube, that is 41,250 feet of rope, with quite a bit of room to spare. Ethan acquiesces.
The Captain is the first down. It is only at this point that Rusty recalls that he has a stockpile of Winged Boots, custom made for each party member, that he made during his downtime. He hands them out, and gives The Captain his once he reaches the bottom. We all make it down safely.
The chamber at the bottom of the shaft reeks of blood and antiseptic. Blood and ichor cover the floor and walls. Surgical tables are positioned throughout the room, and cloning tanks line the walls, filled with abominations. Rusty notices notes written in Qualith and reads them:
Observation Report – Initial Detection
Recorded by Psionicist Valthix, Sub-Director of Ambient Energy Surveillance
Unscheduled fluctuations in the ambient psionic lattice were first detected in the lower conduits of the Citadel Subterrene. These anomalies were faint but consistent, resembling the siphoning patterns observed during controlled energy extractions. No intruders were identified through conventional psionic scans, suggesting the presence of a being immune to standard detection protocols. Further analysis revealed that the disruptions were localized and transient, following an erratic but deliberate path through the citadel. The signature matched no known entity within our records, yet it exhibited a peculiar resonance with our psionic emissions. It did not consume enough energy to disrupt operations but enough to warrant study. Designation assigned: Subject 6-F.
Horus also finds a memory crystal:
Observation Report – Neural Subjugation Initiation
Recorded by Psionicist Zyrr’ax, Director of Bio-Psionic Integration
Subject 48-D was implanted with a Class-III neurosyncaptic filament at 23:47 standard cycles. The filament, embedded in the thalamic region, interfaces with prefrontal cortex activity via psionic resonance. Initial metrics indicate 94% synchronization efficiency with no detectable immune rejection—a marked improvement over prior subjects. Notable observations: Energy Drain: The filament siphons 0.3 terahertz of ambient psionic energy daily, repurposed to sustain its functionality. Covert Control: Testing confirms the subject perceives implanted directives as autonomous decisions. Example: Subject ‘voluntarily’ avoided high-security zones after exposure to subliminal resonance frequencies (see Phase II). Recommendation: Proceed to Phase II behavioral conditioning.
While reviewing the crystal, Horus gets a flash of chronomantic memory. He sees himself in front of a sphere, unleashing time magic that implodes Mount Makab. Then he sees another vision of standing on a hill, overlooking his home while it is invaded by Illithids.
Lastly, there is another mural, showing the desecration of Riktus. The details are unclear, but Riktus is apparently a place, not a person, and Tenebris fucked it up using the Forbidden Word.
Deeper into the Pit
There is a side door, hidden between two cloning vats. This seems to be a pattern for this place. We proceed through and find an undead alchemist working in her laboratory, vials of bubbling concoctions brewing away on the shelves. Vilgax appears to know this person.
Vilgax: Dr Elaris! How are you?
Dr Elaris: Vilgax! How are you? I’ve been feeding them misinformation as you instructed.
Vilgax: We need your concoctions.
The Captain: He said “cock”. Hehehehe.
Dr Elaris: Xal’ithar was right to flee, it seems.
Xal’ithar was the Mind Flayer that wrote “The Stages of Ceremorphosis”, and apparently is allergic to infantile humour? Finally, an opponent ideally matched to the party!
Dr Elaris then proceeds to have a massive whinge about how bad her unlife is, and only agrees to help the party if we kill her. Fine!
The party, with Dr Elaris, climbs out of the pit. According to her, our real bodies are behind the brain tentacle door.
Behind the Brain Door
The Captain approaches - “Prostrate your mind, surrender your pain”. OK, then. 7 HP of psychic damage later, and he is inside. Laid out in the ubiquitous tanks are Raymond, Dennis, Rusty, The Captain and Louie. There is a control panel beside each cloning tank, with buttons that represent: Terminate; Memory Modification; Genetic Modification; Genetic Extraction; Simulation Data; and Eject from Sim. The Captain pushes “Eject from Sim” for everyone, finishing with himself. We all black out, and wake up inside the tanks.
Dennis punches his way out, and presses the secret “Open Tank” buttons on all the control panels. Everyone decants and starts looking around the room. There is a board with Qualith markings - a bunch of formulae:
I = nRT/V + Ψ
ΔM = -k(M - M0)
Ψ(x) = ∫∞-∞ φ(t)e^(-ixt) dt
The first is obviously Avagadro’s Law, but using “I” to represent pressure, and a constant Phi added for some reason. Rusty postulates that the Mind Flayers have a poorly constructed set of physical dimensions that require additional constants to align correctly.
The second formula is more interesting - it is patently a half constructed attempt at a theory of relativity, except it has been reduced to the point of uselessness. Anyone can see that k = -1 for all cases, and it doesn’t predict anything interesting. It’s like the Illithids noticed that mass changes with velocity, but weren’t able to figure out how. Maybe they haven’t worked out that light travels at a measurable speed? Rusty scoffs at their ignorance.
The last formula is more confusing. If the φ(t) function returns anything other than zero for any given value of t, then the integral of the function from negative infinity to infinity is infinity. Otherwise, it returns some other transfinite value. Rusty can’t tell what they were trying to figure out with that one, but given the primitive nature of the prior formula, he’s not going to waste too much time thinking about it.
There is also a note about one of the test subjects:
Behavioral Study – Phase I: Subconscious Compliance*
Recorded by Psionicist Velnara, Overseer of Cognitive Manipulation
Subject 48-D’s daily routines were modified using pulsed psionic emissions (PPEs) delivered through the filament. Key results:
- Memory Alteration: 78% success rate in erasing target memories (e.g., removing recollection of implantation surgery).
- Impulse Insertion: Subject exhibited ‘spontaneous’ interest in restricted archives—a behavior traced to PPEs mimicking curiosity.
Notably, the filament’s feedback loop adapts to the subject’s neurochemistry: resistance thresholds rise by 12% during stress, necessitating calibrated energy surges to maintain control.
Meanwhile, outside
Vilgax and Dr Elaris and catching up outside, and Horus sees a group of Mind Flayers flee past at the end of the corridor. He goes to the end of the corridor to see what they are fleeing, and sees himself, hurling spells like a bunny on myxomatosis and cocaine. Horus asks Vilgax and Elaris if they are seeing this, but they don’t appear to have noticed, and ignore his questions. Horus peers closer at his doppelgänger and it looks to be older than he is - around 60 years old. He asks himself “Haven’t you retired yet? I thought I’d be done by your age!” The doppelgänger looks at Horus, but doesn’t seem like he actually sees him. It mutters “Got to get back to the chronosphere. I can still stop this.”
Horus proceeds to have a meltdown.
The party then exists the room and tells Horus to grow up because they need to check everyone for control filaments and to remove them. There is an attempt to be careful, by Rusty, and an attempt to just electrocute the fuck out of everyone until the filaments burn out, by Horus. For reasons that were never explained and are probably stupid, Horus’ method works better.
The Captain finds a memory crystal about Bane:
Bane Book about Captain
Within the labyrinthine corridors of Citadel Subterrene, beneath Mount Makab, deception is an art form—one I, Xal’ithar, have mastered. Through meticulous study and psychic manipulation, I orchestrated a grand masquerade: impersonating none other than Bane, the Black Hand himself. This text reveals how I deceived a mortal known as “The Captain,” guiding his actions to serve my own intricate designs.
Chapter I: The Art of Divine Impersonation
To impersonate a deity convincingly requires more than mere illusion—it demands profound understanding. Through extensive simulation data and study within our synapse libraries, I absorbed knowledge of mortal religions, beliefs, fears, and desires. Among these deities stood Bane—god of tyranny and conquest—a perfect mask through which to manipulate ambitious mortals.
Chapter II: The Captain’s Identity
“The Captain” was a renowned figure—a charismatic pirate lord whose reputation spanned seas and realms alike. Known for cunning tactics, fierce loyalty from his crew, and an uncanny ability to evade anything dexterous.
His ambition for power made him susceptible to promises whispered from shadows—especially promises cloaked in divine authority.
I observed him closely within the simulation; his mannerisms, speech patterns—even hidden fears and desires—all became tools for manipulation. Gradually convinced he had earned favor from Bane himself—the pirate lord willingly embraced darker paths previously unthinkable.
Chapter III: Puppet Upon Invisible Strings
As “Bane,” I guided decisions made by The Captain, such as placing weresharks within his reach and studying how he would react. I also made him believe it to be a divine mandate to slay Vilgax the Betrayer, thus unknowingly serving our illithid interests.
Each carefully engineered scenario allowed me to observe his strategic thinking, adaptability under pressure, and willingness to embrace ruthlessness when justified by divine command. The Captain became my unwitting instrument—his every victory or defeat merely another data point within my greater experiment.
Ultimately, the pirate lord danced upon invisible strings held firmly within my grasp—never suspecting the deity he revered was nothing more than an illusion conjured by my psychic mastery…until now for some reason I can see he has disappeared off the map, meaning he is most likely coming…I should probably depart from Bluetspur.
We should keep that one. Bane will probably be pretty upset about it.
Where is the loot?
Rusty asks Dr Elaris where we could find magic items that we can use to hide ourselves from the Mind Flayer group consciousness. She says there is a Ring of Mind Shielding in the Psionic Forge, which is through the Corridor of Starlight in the next room. We return to the puzzle room, and go through the last remaining door. It does look oddly like Starlight, and is patrolled by ghostly Mind Flayers. They start up with a prepared speech about how cool they are (we weren’t listening) before they recognize Horus, and usher him through. He gets a free pass. The rest of us can only proceed when we give them knowledge.
The Captain tells them that 2+2=4. They say they already knew that. He says they did not specify that the knowledge had to be new. They acknowledge this, pass him through, then tell the rest of the party that they can only pass with new knowledge.
There is a lot of bollocks and prevarication, but we all eventually pass.
The starlight passage gradually turns to a fleshy passage. Leaning against one wall is a man with an exposed brain, mumbling incoherently. We take a close look, but the damage done to him cannot be healed, so we pass by.
We walk for at least 25 minutes. Leaning against one wall is a man with an exposed brain, mumbling incoherently. We discern that he has somehow been converted into a machine to continuously cast Hallucinatory Terrain.
Horus kicks him in the throat, and the terrain disappears.
Before us there is a spinning fan blade of death, blocking the passage. Beyond it, we can see a room filled with towering constructs and machines.